Life's Calling

Do you have a life's calling? Something that causes you to wake up passionate about starting your day, because you are doing something in which you believe? I believe everyone should have a passion that energizes their daily life. That keeps them going over life's inevitable bumps and around it's obstacles. I believe that my lover had this passion. She was lucky enough to have found it in raising her children, all six. She loves babies, and children of all ages. She knows the names of all the children on the playground, and most of them know her name as well. They are on a first-name, hugging basis. The passion she has for her daughters and children in general spills out everywhere, and infects those around her. I always felt energized in her presence, even before our casual conversations turned into something more.

I'm 46 which, by many measures, is still young. When I was young, I wouldn't believe I could say that with a straight face. But now I can. I could easily work for 20 years if I found something to believe in. That excited me and fanned the flames of passion within me. I spend time thinking about what that would be. Perhaps I spend too much time thinking about it. But I have tried some things and they have not fueled those fires within me. I pursued engineering, instead of a career in music, at the urging of my parents (no surprise there, eh?) and found myself a good engineer, but not a great one. And my technical expertise was never as good as it should have been since my studies had suffered as a result of the many distractions on a college campus in the late 1970's. I tried management and, while there was much about it that I liked, I eventually resigned. For many reasons, I decided to stay at home and spend more time than usual raising my children and trading stocks on line. Also I read alot about Diets and how to mentain a healthy lifestyle. Alas, being an at-home-Dad is probably not my calling either. And my stock trading is good, but not exceptional.

This all came to my mind last night as I read a magazine and felt strangely energized. I devoured huge chunks of the Harvard Business Review! The HBR is the original gospel of management and MBA's, and is not for the faint-hearted. Its not light reading. But I devoured it. I concede that some of my energy was attributed to popping 12 chocolate-covered espresso beans earlier in the evening. But I could have done anything with that energy and what I chose was to read about management dilemmas. I wasn't reading about global warming; socially responsible businesses, working in a non-profit; or any of the other more altruistic subjects that I have been perusing lately. Its was management: "the CEO dies, you replace him, what do you do" type stuff. Perhaps I need to write up a resume and look for a position in management. Is that a 2 income family I see on my horizon? If so, it might be time to sell some of these guitars.